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Here, publishes a mother's account of her daughter's repeated cycles of accusations followed by reconciliations. This account is a exclusive, never before published elsewhere! © 1999

My Daughter’s Story

When my daughter Maria (not her real name) turned 21 years old, she started to get depressed as the result of a new job at an insurance company. This was her first serious job and she didn’t have enough experience, but she had said on her resume that she had more experience than she really did.

The manager of the company, an older guy, noticed that and started harassing her, making some improper passes to the point that she felt obligated to come even at night to learn the job. All of a sudden she got fired and the result was a nervous break down.

While she was going to therapy at Kaiser Permanente in Fremont, her father (my husband) was accompanying her because we did not want her to drive as she was disoriented and taking a lot of medication. Suddenly, she felt uncomfortable going with him to therapy.

She started feeling that she had repressed memories about her father. She began feeling that he had abused her and cut the relationship with me and him because she believed that she had just found out she was abused when she was a little girl. She said she couldn’t talk to us because she thought that probably I was complicit too and aware of her horrible incest.

At the beginning I did not know what to believe. I was devastated. I started to have doubts about my husband, but it didn't make sense to me. He was a lovely father and she was so close to him, and all her life she got along better with him than with me because I was the deciplinarian when she was growing up. How could this have happened?

There is another half sister, my husband's daughter from a first marriage, who was also accusing my husband when Maria came out with this. I think Karen (not her real name) got Maria’s head full of this stuff too, affirming that he had done the same thing to her. Karen has been in therapy many times. And Karen affirmed to Maria that he was the cause of her problems.

Like I said, my head was spinning awfully. I starting accusing my husband. It was a turmoil. I couldn’t describe how bad it was. My son who was 14 years old at the time was so upset that he was sleeping in his friend’s home. He complained that it was too ugly and asked how this could happen to his sisters when his daddy was the most respectful father and all his friends loved him.

The dilemma and depression of my daughter lasted 4 months. Then she starting talking to us, and when she got better she came with her boyfriend whom she was living with at the time for Thanksgiving Dinner. I stopped asking details and life went on again and she got married. Her wedding was beautiful. Life went OK.

Two and a half years later, she got a new job and was gaining a lot of weight, and she starting accusing my husband again with the same thing. Worse, she said she was surprised I did not know. I stood up and I told her you are not going to get me because if I had known anything like that I wouldn’t be married to him and he would have been in jail. I know my husband. He is of high standards and under no circumstances did I believe he was capable of a such an unspeakable thing. Again it took 4 months to get better and she came back again like nothing happened. We were always so joyful she came back to the family, so we never asked how she got better. We were afraid she would go away again.

Three years later, again she was under a lot stress on the job because of rumors of layoffs. She was fearful for her job, and they had just bought a house. She sent me an email saying that she couldn’t have a relationship with us because she is depressed because she has been abused, and until we both agree and accept she cannot talk to us again. I said "You said that every time you were under stress. Why are you living in the past? Whether it is true or not you have to go on with your life." She was very unstable. I cried, she cried, and my husband was stunned senseless. He did not want to deal with this anymore. My son who is 22 now and has graduated from college was very upset too. I told him we have to wait, that these things last at least 4 months.

After a long time--almost 5 months--she starting answering my emails and phone calls. Now we are a happy family again but with the dilemma that anytime in two years or so, the same thing may happen again. I don’t know how to tell her that I have been to the FMS chapter meetings and seen that there are many families like us. I believe that every family that was there for the meeting is innocent, otherwise they wouldn’t be there. has withheld this family's names in order to preserve their privacy. congratulates this mother and all others who have the courage and strength to stand up and warn others about the harmful therapy that has needlessly ruined so many innocent people's lives.

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